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We get the most amazing emails from listeners.
 
As mentioned on Episode 66, below is the list of questions supplied to us by listeners who have developed these questions to help curious and uncertain, potential swingers explore whether or not experimenting with the swinging lifestyle might be a good fit for their marriage. Their email to us is below:
 
 
Although every situation is different for every couple, several common factors may help for you to determine if your significant other is ready to have the lifestyle talk.  This is not a comprehensive checklist, nor would a couple need to answer positively for every question, but a majority of "Yes" answers may mean you are both ready to have this talk.  We came into the lifestyle over the course of a couple decades of talking and building up to these affirmatives, until one day, we realized we wanted to do this together.
 
1.  Are you deeply in love with one another?
2.  Are you committed to always being together, no matter what may happen in your lives?
3.  Do you tend to tackle life's problems together?
4.  Do you offer honest opinions to one another?
5.  When you argue, do you stay on topic?
6.  Do you make up easily?
7.  Do you have a vigorous sex-life with each other?
8.  Do you use sexual toys together?
9.  Do you ever role play in bed?
10.  Do you watch porn together?
11.  Do you know and accept that your partner watches porn without you?
12.  Do you fantasize about sex with others?
13.  Do you share your sexual fantasies with your partner?
14.  Do you freely comment about the attractiveness of other people in each other's presence?
15.  Do you discuss what other couple's sex lives might be like?
16.  Do you have a bit of a exhibitionist side that turns you on?
17.  Do you have a bit of a voyeuristic side when you see others being sexual?
18.  Do you generally like other people?
19.  Do you admire single sexually active men and women who own their sexuality?
20.  Do you imagine your partner having a variety of sexual experiences with someone other than you?
21.  Do you become turned on by the idea of your partner having sex with others?
22.  Do you adapt to new settings and experiences?
23.  Do you like to travel?
24.  Do you like adventures?
25.  Do you like romance?
26.  Do you believe that your sexuality does not negatively influence your own personal spirituality?
27.  Do you believe that your partner could very easily be attracted to people who do not look and act like you?
28.  Do you accept and support the idea that your partner could be attracted to people who do not look and act like you?
29.  Do you withhold judgment for who or what your partner might be turned on by?
30.  Do you accept that you do not "own" your partner or their physical body?
31.  Do you accept the fact that your relationship could change, both for good or for bad?
 
These are important questions and there are many others that should probably be on this list.  But I believe that people who are afraid of these questions, or think that this type of list is too serious and academic for this subject, are probably not ready to discuss the lifestyle, let alone jump in.  However, a serious personal consideration of your own answer to these topics AND an honest assessment of how you believe your partner would answer these questions, is a great first step in determining your initial readiness to talk about the Lifestyle.